I sent K a PM earlier today morning. From the work place to be exact when I'll be sorta scattered brain so that I won't be able to worry myself too much over what to type or the possible consequences (plus I sorta gave R my word last night that I'll definitely PM K at some point soon).

I just logged onto the forum to see if there's a reply from him (even though deep down I already know that there prolly wun be) and true enough there wasn't. I dunno if he read it in the end. Dunno how he felt about it if he did.

I know that I'll need to talk to K on AIM eventually. I have to. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm scared. Not scared of him though. Just scared of how things may eventually turn out.

I don't want this to end but I don't wanna wait for a future that may never come. He... we both deserve a chance at happiness, even if it's with someone else in the end. I don't think I'll be able to find someone else in this world who can share my... odd... interests. It just don't seem remotely possible. And yet it torns me that I may be possibly cutting him loose if I do this.

I'm an arse...

3rd day of the new year. 1st day at a new department. Time to look back and give thanks for all the small favours in life like I've said I would earlier last month. ^^;;

1. Surviving Medicine posting on the whole (Gastro, DIM, Renal, Respi)

2. Having wonderful colleagues (helpful fellow HOs and MOs who make the mountain load of changes seem not so painful, nice Registrars and Consultants compared to some of the really nasty ones out there)

3. Thoughtful nurses (who really brighten your otherwise dreadful call by helping you out with the blood taking and giving of 1st doses of medication)

4. Reasonable calls (still able to squeeze in at least 1 hour of sleep in between all the changes that need to be done with minimal troublesome changes)

5. Family (for being so supportive regardless of the long hours put in as well as the late/missing of meals)

I can't really see myself returning to Medicine some day as a MO though. The idea itself pretty much scares me since there's still so much that I know nuts about plus a MO's responsibility is way greater. Still, I really got to admit that I've learnt a lot over the past 4 months even though the amount of work drives me nuts most of the time.

Not too sure if this's the latest trend of things at my workplace but it seems that quite a number of the patients on my list at the moment are pretty sick/unstable. Is it just us? Or is it something that's happening to all the departments? Beats me though. @-@

Work has been keeping us so busy such that time really seems to fly day after day. Am dead tired from the long hours here and pre-call blues have been hitting me hard the entire of today.

After tomo, it'll be the mid-point of the month plus I have only 2 more medical calls left to clear. Just gotta keep reminding myself that amidst constantly procrastinating about how crappy the new system of ward-based changes is messing all of us up big time.

Yup, it's been a pretty long 4 months. Feels like centuries had passed in fact. Lol...

I'm in a whiney mood tonight so... humour me. Why are weekends always so short?

n-n

This weekend feels especially so though. Went out with bro last evening to catch A Battle of Wits at Marina Square. My first Chinese movie in a uber long time. Have to say that I was pretty impressed by how Ge Li managed to thwart the enemies' attacks on the city with his strategies. That is in between spazzing moments when one can't help but make cross references here and there with LOTR. Lol. Not bad a show indeed to consider watching. ^^;;

Today's changes took me till about 1+pm to finish. Quite a typical time for medical HOs during weekend rounds I guess. Lunch was unexpectedly the highlight of the day though. Met up with my big bro to have Kenny Rogers at Suntec. Ribs, cheese and macaroni, baked beans, garlic potatoes, corn muffins... yum yum! =P

Covered some ground in Xenosaga 3 in the evening too. And now here I am trying to prepare the slides for the coming case presentation this Wednesday. No fun. Getting kinda depressed from the fact that I'm on call tomo too. Double whammy. Bummer... =(

Guess only good thing about call is that I can start counting down to how many more medical calls I have left to go... @-@

First day back at work after nearly a week's worth of break. Would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous since it's my first day in a different department plus I was getting pretty concerned last night that my procedure skills +/- knowledge would be rusty (not that I had a lot of those to begin with though... @-@).

Thankfully, today was over in a flash. Work flow was steady although I was pretty miffed over the new system that the department had to introduce as of today. But oh well... looking back, I guess there's no perfect system that'll make everyone happy afterall. n-n

Team was pretty nice on the whole though boss was kinda *anal* over certain things... to be mentioned (if I remember to) when I'm finished with this month's posting. Really am thankful for the various small favours in life as well as how life has been treating me so far too. Will elaborate on what I mean later this month or something... heh... ^^;;

Happened to see this featured on an anime blog that I stalk every now and then, so thought I'll make a post about it to remind myself to look out for it when it's out in Spring 2007. =)

Clicky for 5cm/s Trailers

Reasons that got Natsue hooked on this particular anime film:
1. Pretty graphics (gotta love the sakura flowers ^^;;)
2. Interesting plot
3. Beautiful melancholic piano piece

It's probably gonna be difficult to get my hands on a copy of it eventually but well... let's just see how things go. On a side note, I wish I have a longer break from work. Am so not looking forward to work tomo... =(